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My Night with Demi Lovato

I’m not exactly sure how it happened, but I spent the past hour listening to the Demi Lovato album, on full blast in my apartment while I laid on my floor and ate a SpongeBob Squarepants push-up pop (aka my dinner).  But it wasn’t just on in the background, I was like really listening to it.  Every word in every song somehow hit me and I basically thought I was either in a Kate Hudson rom-com or an episode of Lizzie McGuire.

It got me thinking though, about when you were younger and you would devour music like this.  You’d go to FYE or Best Buy or wherever, buy that CD you’ve been waiting for, take it home and listen to it obsessively.  Each word on that CD became a part of you; an audible component to the diary of your life at that time.  To this day I still know every word of P!nk’s Missundaztood because I spent so many days in my room listening to that album repeatedly.  Did I really get what Just Like a Pill was about?  Don’t think so.  Did Family Portrait directly reflect my own life?  Nope.  But it didn’t matter- the lyrics and melodies of those songs took on their own meaning in my life.

I’m not saying that as we get older, we don’t continue to play albums into the ground, but for me at least, it’s different.  Now I’m lucky if I can get through a few songs off a new record during my morning commute.  I miss being able to block out an hour of my day where I can just turn off the outside world and turn on music.  I miss how connected you become to a whole album and how distinctly you can recall your surroundings and emotions the first time you hear it.

I guess what I’m saying by this is that, with the help of Demi Lovato, I remembered tonight how important it is to stop and take time to just immerse yourself in the moment, and really remember it, really take it all in, really let it hit you and maybe, just maybe, really let it change you.  Because I truly believe music has the ability to do this. 

And I mean, even if you’re 12 or 24, you still need to just feel like Demi’s Skyscraper is about your battle with humidity hair, right?

The day I realized Fez was evil

Happy Friday party people, or as my mother would say, people who like to get jiggy with it.  I apologize for not blogging more this past week, I’ve spent most of my time celebrating Martin Luther King Jr day by listening to Soulja Boy and Gucci Mane, because they are exactly what I imagine MLK Jr pictured as the future of youth when he gave his I Have A Dream speech.

Now, I don’t know about you guys, but I usually have at least one huge revelation every day.  For example, yesterday I realized that Mandy Moore circa 1999 is one of my soul sisters.  Why?  Um, really didn’t expect to need a reason but for one, when I got my license I wanted a green bug.  I mean now, obviously I realize that’s not a logical vehicle choice, but back then VW Bugs were what’s up.  Secondly I also imagined that I’d meet my dream guy in a diner while me and my friend were casually sipping water.  And lastly, I always had a weird attraction for dance sequences in skate parks while dudes skateboarded around me.  Basically, that candy video is a representation of my pre-teens hopes and dreams, and therefore we are soul sisters. 

But today I had the revelation of all revelations.  I was casually reading some blind items when I saw one posting about a Disney star who just got out of rehab and was telling the public how happy and sober she was, BUT secretly she was relapsing into bad habits again.  Because I’m bad ass at Blind Items, I immediately I knew this had to be Demi Lovato.  Yet unlike other blind items, this one hit me hard.  Like, WTF Demi?  Relapsing and some shit again- what would make you do this?  As Tyra Banks would say WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU!  But then that’s when my revelation hit me and I knew exactly who was behind this:

Just like the saying “behind every good man is a good woman” should be “behind every mental, physical and emotional breakdown is WILMER.”  Let’s first look at Lindsay Lohan- who was she dating right AFTER her Mean Girls peak, and right BEFORE she picked up SaMANtha Ronson and became the hott mess we all know and love?  WILMER.  And now Demi- this chick used to be one, big Dr. Drew episode, struggling with weight issues and substance abuse.  But then she completed rehab and came back to Hollywood all “I’m the healthiest” and everyone was like hell yea Demi!  Unfortunately she wasn’t safe long because who did she see as soon as she got out? YOU KNOW WHO.   And now the bitch is rumored to be back into all her bad habits again. 


I MEAN COME ON GUYS! THIS ISN’T ROCKET SCIENCE.  Wilmer to young Hollywood stars is like that one asshole kid in kindergarten that, while everyone else is building a block tower, comes up and puts just ONE more block on top and the whole friggin tower crumbles.  Like dammit!  Even Stevie Wonder knew this shit couldn’t hold anymore.  So Wilmer, on behalf of all single, stable women out there- stop knocking down our block towers.  Just because you have to live as “the guy who played Fez on That 70s Show” doesn’t mean we all have to suffer with you.

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