New Year’s came out of nowhere, right?  It was like just as I was sobering up from Christmas, 2011 decided to quit this bitch and 2012 came and sucker punched me with champagne right in the stomach.  Not that I really minded- 2011 lasted forever and honestly, I hated it.  It was like I was Simon Cowell and 2011 was my Paula Abdul- bitch followed me everywhere, made no sense and right when I tried to embrace it, it made a new, secret alliance with Nicole Scherswing-whatever.  Like after all I did for it!  

Anyways, now that it’s 2012, I’ve been getting a lot of reader e-mail asking me whose year 2012 was going to be.  Since I incorrectly (or correctly, depending on who you ask) predicted 2011 to be the year of Marinoni, I don’t know why people are asking me but I appreciate the chance to redeem myself especially since I know EXACTLY whose year it’s going to be.  And I’m as serious about this as Brandi is about her no-bra policy.

2012 is the year of Victoria Gotti.  Yes, you heard it here first- Victoria Gotti will take 2012 and make it her teenage bride and here’s why:

1.       She’s starring in Celebrity Apprentice.  Not that I usually credit Donald Trump with resurrecting anything but his hairline, but I think this really could be the show that puts my girl back on the map.  Victoria is known for her sassy remarks and cut-throat business tactics so her dominating this show is basically inevitable.  I mean, bitch was daughter of the most infamous mob boss of all time, she had to have inherited some of those people skills right??

2.       She’s starring in Celebrity Apprentice…against her wanna be, Teresa Guidice.  Look, after the emergence of Real Housewives of New Jersey, Jersey Shore and Mob Wives, it was only a matter of time before Victoria returned to TV to claim the ground she helped lay.  These pro-Italian, mob-mentality shows all have sky-rocketed their stars to fame yet NONE of them paid homage to the queen of all Italian reality shows- Victoria Gotti and Growing Up Gotti!  Can I get a WTF?  That’s like Ice Loves Coco not paying homage to Strange Love.

3.       This Picture:

SO there you have it and I can’t wait.  Victoria Gotti was always a hero for me, like right after Mr. Feeny, my mom and dad and Celine Dion so I’m pretty friggin jazzed for 2012.  Okay I need to go get a spray tan and beef up my black and white wardrobe to properly ring in the YEAR OF GOTTI.