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BORED.

BORED.

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Self-y

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Self-y

tru.

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me rt now

me rt now

Dear Dad

Hi Dad,

Do you remember when I was younger and I had just started playing violin? I know, I couldn’t have possibly picked a nerdier instrument (except maybe if picked the tuba or something, but Michael had his eye on that trumpet so our brass instrument category was already fulfilled) but I was so excited. That is until I got the case for my first violin and it was bright blue. Like not even navy blue, but like bright, obnoxious, royal blue. Now suddenly it was like a glaring sign that followed me around, alerting everyone “Watch out! Nerd walking through!”

I was so embarrassed that I refused to ride the bus. I begged you to start driving me to school each day so that I wasn’t subjected to kids possibly laughing or making fun of me on the bus ride over. I remember you kind of sighed and shook your head, but agreed nonetheless. Looking back, you didn’t have time to drive me, at all. You were the person that woke us up each day, made us our breakfast and lunch, got our stuff together and ensured we got to school on time. Not to mention that on top of all that, you were getting ready for work yourself – your own business that to this day, I don’t think I will ever realize the stresses or pressure you and Mom encountered on behalf of that.

But every day from that moment on, no matter what, you drove me to school. You drove me until I could drive myself, and even then you still offered just in case.

I don’t know if you think about this a lot, but I do. I think about it a lot because at 25, I’m still trying to figure a lot out about life. I’m still trying to figure out how to teach my heart to love people that love me back. I’m still trying to figure out how to be truly honest with myself. I’m still trying to figure how to hang my curtains without calling you and asking you what type of screwdriver I should use. But the reason why I think of this act so often is because it’s one of the most special examples I know of being selfless and unconditional with your love. And to know what that is at this point in my life, kind of outweighs all that other stuff I’m still trying to sift through.

We’ve been lucky to grow up in a house where something like this was so commonplace. Between you and Mom, we were surrounded by little things like that. I think only when you get older and people start to let you down, those who you expect to love you just as much as you love them just don’t, you realize how important those little moments are. I don’t think I’ve found someone who would drive me to school every day just because I hated the color of my violin case, but the difference is that I know that kind of love is out there and worth waiting for. I dk, maybe that’s too idealistic of me, but I’d rather have hope than bitterness.

So anyways, Happy Valentine’s Day Dad – to someone whose taught me about life, love, and everything in between, all while making sure I get to school on time.

allnicki:

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