January 2012
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The day I realized Fez was evil
Happy Friday party people, or as my mother would say, people who like to get jiggy with it. I apologize for not blogging more this past week, I’ve spent most of my time celebrating Martin Luther King Jr day by listening to Soulja Boy and Gucci Mane, because they are exactly what I imagine MLK Jr pictured as the future of youth when he gave his I Have A Dream speech.
Now, I don’t know about you...
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WatchTreat your ears right. Listen to this track.
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An Open Post: To Teen Mom & Teen Mom 2
You know how you have that one friend that you’re always constantly worried about- the one you nervously smile or laugh around when they scream “just one more shot of tequila! I swear I’m like not even drunk!” and you bite your tongue because they’re 24 and you don’t need to be a babysitter. But then there’s that one night when you see her talking to a Pauly Shore look-alike in the corner of the...
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2012: The Year of Gotti
New Year’s came out of nowhere, right? It was like just as I was sobering up from Christmas, 2011 decided to quit this bitch and 2012 came and sucker punched me with champagne right in the stomach. Not that I really minded- 2011 lasted forever and honestly, I hated it. It was like I was Simon Cowell and 2011 was my Paula Abdul- bitch followed me everywhere, made no sense and right when I tried...
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December 2011
16 posts
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Happy Holidays, love The Dopeness
Now that I’m an adult, with my own apartment and an actual vacuum, I began to look at “going home for the holidays” much differently than I did when I was in college. Back in those days, winter break was just an excuse to get drunk for a month with a group of people that knew you when your Tamagotchi was still alive. The alcohol-fueled reunion would, without fail, consist of everyone asking each...
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The Day Love Died
Love is a funny thing, isn’t it? One minute you’re frolicking around, finishing each other’s sentences, wearing matching Christmas sweaters and refilling each other’s glasses of boxed wine, then the next minute you’re fighting over which Jersey Shore cast member is your favorite.
So it’s no surprise to me that 2011 has been a tough year for relationships. Ashton and Demi, Kris and Kim, JLo and...
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I Wasn't Invited to This Wedding #928
You know those kinds of mornings when you wake up and you feel a sense of hope and promise, like when you wake up and you know exactly where you are and there’s not a left over hot pocket lying next to you? That happened to me this morning. I woke up and finally understood Ke$ha because I felt like P.Diddy, or Flava Flav at the very least- I mean I was really on my game! I jumped out of bed,...
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November 2011
14 posts
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The day me and Ali Lohan got a reality check
I don’t know if it’s lack of sleep due to a newfound obsession with online Family Feud, or all the homeless people I’ve been hanging out with at the pizza place around the corner from my apartment, but I’ve been getting sick a CRAY-CRAY amount this fall/winter. And since I don’t believe in seeing doctors aside from Dr. Oz, this has left me tending to my illness alone. It’s also left me...
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Yea 2gether's in the house!
When I was in 6th grade my world changed for three major reasons. One-I entered middle school, where I quickly learned that I had the fashion sense of a middle-aged Price Is Right contestant and I needed to get hip to Limited Too. I mean, Amy’s JC Penny’s coupons were guaranteed to get us a great discount but they weren’t going to get me any friends.
Two- the Spice Girls were on the brink of...
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Love Will Keep Us Together
This week has been hard on all of us guys. First Kim and Kris got divorced and while I think everyone in the world besides Helen Keller knew that was coming, I still was taken for a loop. What really got me about all this wasn’t that their marriage was over; it was the fact that her wedding and divorce ruined headpieces for me. Like how can I ever trust anything that starts with a headpiece...
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October 2011
20 posts
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